so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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