I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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