CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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