Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
