Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
