so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
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I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
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how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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