After last night, I could never be a politician.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
