So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
