Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
