brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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