The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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