I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
