i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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