yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
