I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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