Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
