i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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