So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
