She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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