My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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