bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
