It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
