Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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