I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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