He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
