Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
