Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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