This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Ketchup is God's man juice
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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