I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
