i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
