that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
