I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
