he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize