I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Verdict: uncircumcised.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
