my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
