I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
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I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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