I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
