So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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