I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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