ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
