you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
