thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
