You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
