Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
