I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
