I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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