New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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