It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
