No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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