I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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