he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
