so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
