I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize