Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize