I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
