Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
