hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
