No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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