At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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