last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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