Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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