its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
