Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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