I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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