just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
