you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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