a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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