You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
