I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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