Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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