If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
