i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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