Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
