forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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